Sunday, 30 January 2011

Does it affect him?

So i've been analysing the past 2 months of the break up and thinking about how it has affected me - seeing him and spending time with him, although not much time and I thought does the affect of seeing him and still being in contact with him affect him as it has done me?

I still wonder what he is doing, I still long for a text from him telling me he'd made a big mistake, I still long for his touch and his love again...

Does he ever wonder about me? Does he miss me? Does the 'Ex sex' thing affect him like it has done me? Does he wonder if we could start over again?

I've always wondered if he really does miss me, if he's just trying to act like he doesn't care to be the bigger person? I wish I could see into his head and make things easier for both of us..

I would kill for a males perspective right now!

The guy that got away?

So There's this guy that I'm certain really likes me (I've been told by his friends and my friends..) He's so kind and caring and we do get on - He honestly would be the perfect boyfriend!

BUT and this is a big BUT...I'm not over my ex, in fact i'm far from being over my ex I still think about him everyday, as sad as that sounds it's so true. I know it's all part of the process and in time things will get better but right now i'd drop everything to be back with him.

Am I wrong for not giving this guy a go? I don't find him attractive at all, yet he has all the qualities I could possibly ask for in a man and when compared to my ex i'm sure he would treat me like a princess.

What is wrong with me? should I give this guy a chance?

I feel like I have an attraction to bad boys (which is exactly what my ex is BAD) I want someone who is hard to get..

Why is this? I guess i'll never know but i've got to follow my heart and at the moment i don't think my heart could handle anything else.

So will he be that guy that got away?

No contact

So it's only been one week since no contact with 'D' - that's the most recent ex..although we've been split for over 2 months now we've had contact - from my previous post you'll see we did the whole ex sex thing - which I have to add did not work out in my favour - so I decided after that scenario i'm going to give the no contact thing a good go!

How do I feel?

Much better, still think about him most of my time but I know that in time it will get better and my hopes of him getting into contact are slowly dissapearing..why would he? He can have his cake and eat it when he wants.

I want to show him that the next time he decides to drunk dial me I MIGHT not pick up the phone - yes there's a might in there as I don't know if i'm quite strong enough to not pick up the phone just yet - I know in time I will be...

So if you're thinking about no contact rather than sex with the ex - I say a big YES to this! It will help so much!

S x

Saturday, 29 January 2011

It's all in the name of research!...

Take a look at my new poll 'Are you friends with your ex?'

Give it a click and answer - all in the name of research...

Keep an eye out in the next few weeks and I'll be commenting on being friends with an ex - send me some of your experiences and i'll feature you in the post :) x

A break up cure? Sex and The City?

So i've started watching Sex and The City since the split and I have to say it's really helped me, not to mention filled the massive gap when I have spare time on my hands :)

It helps to see that other people go through break ups - even Samantha has the mad break up with Richard..

So go on girls if you haven't already go and order yourself Sex and The City - the whole season :)

It's worked amazingly for me :)

Anyone got any break up cures that worked for them?

It's hard to be happy for a friend when you're not happy!!

So my friend has a new boyfriend - I should be happy but I can't be happy in fact i'm jealous that she has something that I dont!

Whilst she's out enjoying the 'honeymoon period' i'm sat mourning the 'break up period'!

So I got we pretend we are happy for them? Do we start shouting about the negatives of a relationship and that we know where the 'honeymoon' period will end a year down the line?

It's hard to be happy for someone when you know where it might end up going? Down the drain! Should we be positive and go along with their happy dreams and ideas of their future - just like we had many months/years ago?

For now i'm going to be positive like any good friend would but it has made me wonder - are all relationships these days heading to an unhappy ending?

No Strings Attached: How Not To Be A Friend With Benefits

No Strings Attached: How Not To Be A Friend With Benefits

Follow this advice - use it with the EX SEX too, or even if you just want/need a FWB x

The Ten Commandments Of Facebook

A cute little link I found :)

The Ten Commandments Of Facebook

EX Sex - should i?

Ex sex...hmmm sounds pretty good to me - sex with someone who knows how to press your buttons and you know how to press theirs....

SIMPLE...or is it?

Well i've done my own little bit of research on this subject for you...i've only gone and slept with the most recent ex to find out whether ex sex is good sex or nah ah sex.... we'll come to my conclusion later on!

So the ex invited me over for 'a dvd' basically code for I want one last fling with you then it really is the END

Well I had to oblige in the name of research of course (nothing to do with the fact that I was in need of some lets call it TLC) for the details...

Well it wasn't what I expected it consisted of me doing all the work not to mention getting no pleasure from the whole experience whatsoever! He couldn't even keep it going so it ended with me lets say pleasuring him!

Not what I would like to remember about the experience! On the plus side he's since seen me and told me that no one can beat my 'little expertise (we shall call it that - I wouldn't want to reveal what I do best ;0))

All in all to sum it up - it really wasn't amazing - it did bring back old feelings - not for him - just gave him the 'release' he needed ;)

Tread carefully on the sex with the ex front...never leads anywhere good and unless it's amazing sex and you are getting pleasure, what's the point!

Extravagent holiday

So in my mid break up anger/sadness I've decided that i'm going off on an extravagent holiday!

LAS VEGAS baby! Not for another 3 months but still it's LAS VEGAS! It's all booked and paid for now for the spending money - i've turned in to a bit of a recluse this weekend in an attempt to save money for this trip that I hope is going to be truly amazing :)

I've even put my designer shoes and handbags on Ebay - will be sad to see them go but it's part of my clear out of my old life - it's a great feeling that I don't have any memories of the old life i've so recently left behind.

I'd suggest this kind of therapy for anyone who's feeling a bit down at the moment :)

Just warn your bank first! Pics of Vegas to be added when i've finally experienced it - if anyone has any suggestion of where I should visit (where can I see hot young men prancing around in nothing..hehe) please comment and i'll be sure to share my experiences with all - hoping that i'll have some stories that will make good reading ;0) xx

My big fat wedding day!

So in the uk the media has been focusing on weddings, in particular 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' see the brilliant article from the Daily Mail below.

  • Daily Mail Article

    Why is it that we dream of our wedding day so much? Well we may not all dream of our wedding day, but I know I do and I did with my most recent lover boy.

    The truth was that we were never going to be married - he even told me that he didn't believe in marraige - should I have taken this as a sure sign that he never saw a future for us? I probably should have but I never did, I wanted to carry on thinking that eventually he would change his opinion on marraige and get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife.

    Is marriage a waste of time? If it is only going to end in divorce why not save ourselves the money and wait for it to end with nothing lost? That's wrong we've still lost the 'love of our lives' in the process and not to mention time and investments in the relationship.

    I do believe that one day I may be blogging about my big day but until then I have to say I am questionning if marraige is really worth all of the money spent, tears cried and wedding cake eaten!

  • When will I find the one?

    Hands up if you thought you had found THE ONE???

    I've done this THREE times over! I'm only 24 years of age, is that a bit mad?

    So now we're going to do a bit of digging into my past - this is the fun bit :)

    Let's start by giving you the lowdown on my three 'The one's'

    Number one:
    Time together - 3 sweet years
    Let's call him 'R' well what can I say he was a lovely guy, not the greatest looker but had a heart of gold to some extent.  We spent 3 mostly happy years together now to some of you this is nothing but 3 years when compared to all of my past relationships is a long time for me...He was my first love, I wanted babies with him, I would have left my family and friends to spend my life with him...that was until something in my head told me that I just didn't love him the way I used to? We had our problems one BIG problem (more of this in later posts) but when I look back on this relationship compared to the relationships that followed I question if I threw away something that I may never find again?

    Number two:
    Time together - around a year (to include 2 break ups!)
    This is 'A' me and 'A' started as F* Buddies after one drunken night together - now I don't know if this made me more attracted to him because I knew I couldn't have him as a boyfriend that I longed for? We soon became boyfriend and girlfriend but 'A' had different views to me on the whole relationship thing.  He thought it was acceptable to see me once every two weeks, I never did question what he might have been doing on the days that I was not around - I was too infatuated with him.  Needless to say this ended just as quick as it began.

    Number three:
    Well what can I say about number 3, as I even start to think about number 3, the tears are rolling down my face, if you haven't already guessed it number 3 is my most recent lover.  When we met something felt different, I didn't chase this guy, he chased me.  I couldn't care if I wasn't going to see him once in two weeks! Now how the tables have turned, it's hard to comment on this relationship as I am so fresh out of it, all I know now though is that it feels like number 3 is my only true love....

    This has got me thinking is there such a thing as 'The one' and if I take my experiences into account, why have I already had 3 of these in my life? Is it just a spur of the moment thing? Can anyone become 'The one' or does it take someone really special to fill this place in our lives?

    Comments welcome x

    The breakup...where did it all go wrong?

    So here we are THE BREAKUP..... You are probably asking yourself where did it all go wrong? Why me? You've probably heard the words you knew were coming but just didn't want to face up to, or maybe it's a total shock to you?

    I was there only 2 months ago, yes I knew it was coming, yes I tried my hardest to make things right before he said those words that I had been dreading. Secretly I was relieved that my pain and suffering were over, what kind of relationship is it when you are scared to speak for the fear of being broken up with? Obviously I questioned this everyday that we were still together but despite this could not find the courage to end the relationship myself.

    In this blog I plan to help you out in your journey of the break up and share some of my experiences along the way as I am still on my journey through the break up, I still have days when all I want to do is stay in bed and wallow in my self pitty, cry down the phone to friends.  I want to share with you the methods for making such a heart breaking experience that little bit easier.

    So keep reading and I promise to keep this up to date and back date through the last 2 months to give you a little insight in to my break up and help you to see that you are not alone :)