Does it affect him?

So i've been analysing the past 2 months of the break up and thinking about how it has affected me - seeing him and spending time with him, although not much time and I thought does the affect of seeing him and still being in contact with him affect him as it has done me?

I still wonder what he is doing, I still long for a text from him telling me he'd made a big mistake, I still long for his touch and his love again...

Does he ever wonder about me? Does he miss me? Does the 'Ex sex' thing affect him like it has done me? Does he wonder if we could start over again?

I've always wondered if he really does miss me, if he's just trying to act like he doesn't care to be the bigger person? I wish I could see into his head and make things easier for both of us..

I would kill for a males perspective right now!
x

Extravagent holiday

So in my mid break up anger/sadness I've decided that i'm going off on an extravagent holiday!

LAS VEGAS baby! Not for another 3 months but still it's LAS VEGAS! It's all booked and paid for now for the spending money - i've turned in to a bit of a recluse this weekend in an attempt to save money for this trip that I hope is going to be truly amazing :)

I've even put my designer shoes and handbags on Ebay - will be sad to see them go but it's part of my clear out of my old life - it's a great feeling that I don't have any memories of the old life i've so recently left behind.

I'd suggest this kind of therapy for anyone who's feeling a bit down at the moment :)

Just warn your bank first! Pics of Vegas to be added when i've finally experienced it - if anyone has any suggestion of where I should visit (where can I see hot young men prancing around in nothing..hehe) please comment and i'll be sure to share my experiences with all - hoping that i'll have some stories that will make good reading ;0) xx

My big fat wedding day!

So in the uk the media has been focusing on weddings, in particular 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' see the brilliant article from the Daily Mail below.

Daily Mail Article

Why is it that we dream of our wedding day so much? Well we may not all dream of our wedding day, but I know I do and I did with my most recent lover boy.

The truth was that we were never going to be married - he even told me that he didn't believe in marraige - should I have taken this as a sure sign that he never saw a future for us? I probably should have but I never did, I wanted to carry on thinking that eventually he would change his opinion on marraige and get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife.

Is marriage a waste of time? If it is only going to end in divorce why not save ourselves the money and wait for it to end with nothing lost? That's wrong we've still lost the 'love of our lives' in the process and not to mention time and investments in the relationship.

I do believe that one day I may be blogging about my big day but until then I have to say I am questionning if marraige is really worth all of the money spent, tears cried and wedding cake eaten!

x