No contact

So it's only been one week since no contact with 'D' - that's the most recent ex..although we've been split for over 2 months now we've had contact - from my previous post you'll see we did the whole ex sex thing - which I have to add did not work out in my favour - so I decided after that scenario i'm going to give the no contact thing a good go!

How do I feel?

Much better, still think about him most of my time but I know that in time it will get better and my hopes of him getting into contact are slowly dissapearing..why would he? He can have his cake and eat it when he wants.

I want to show him that the next time he decides to drunk dial me I MIGHT not pick up the phone - yes there's a might in there as I don't know if i'm quite strong enough to not pick up the phone just yet - I know in time I will be...

So if you're thinking about no contact rather than sex with the ex - I say a big YES to this! It will help so much!

S x

It's hard to be happy for a friend when you're not happy!!

So my friend has a new boyfriend - I should be happy but I can't be happy in fact i'm jealous that she has something that I dont!

Whilst she's out enjoying the 'honeymoon period' i'm sat mourning the 'break up period'!

So I got thinking...do we pretend we are happy for them? Do we start shouting about the negatives of a relationship and that we know where the 'honeymoon' period will end a year down the line?

It's hard to be happy for someone when you know where it might end up going? Down the drain! Should we be positive and go along with their happy dreams and ideas of their future - just like we had many months/years ago?

For now i'm going to be positive like any good friend would but it has made me wonder - are all relationships these days heading to an unhappy ending?

Extravagent holiday

So in my mid break up anger/sadness I've decided that i'm going off on an extravagent holiday!

LAS VEGAS baby! Not for another 3 months but still it's LAS VEGAS! It's all booked and paid for now for the spending money - i've turned in to a bit of a recluse this weekend in an attempt to save money for this trip that I hope is going to be truly amazing :)

I've even put my designer shoes and handbags on Ebay - will be sad to see them go but it's part of my clear out of my old life - it's a great feeling that I don't have any memories of the old life i've so recently left behind.

I'd suggest this kind of therapy for anyone who's feeling a bit down at the moment :)

Just warn your bank first! Pics of Vegas to be added when i've finally experienced it - if anyone has any suggestion of where I should visit (where can I see hot young men prancing around in nothing..hehe) please comment and i'll be sure to share my experiences with all - hoping that i'll have some stories that will make good reading ;0) xx

My big fat wedding day!

So in the uk the media has been focusing on weddings, in particular 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' see the brilliant article from the Daily Mail below.

Daily Mail Article

Why is it that we dream of our wedding day so much? Well we may not all dream of our wedding day, but I know I do and I did with my most recent lover boy.

The truth was that we were never going to be married - he even told me that he didn't believe in marraige - should I have taken this as a sure sign that he never saw a future for us? I probably should have but I never did, I wanted to carry on thinking that eventually he would change his opinion on marraige and get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife.

Is marriage a waste of time? If it is only going to end in divorce why not save ourselves the money and wait for it to end with nothing lost? That's wrong we've still lost the 'love of our lives' in the process and not to mention time and investments in the relationship.

I do believe that one day I may be blogging about my big day but until then I have to say I am questionning if marraige is really worth all of the money spent, tears cried and wedding cake eaten!

x

The breakup...where did it all go wrong?

So here we are THE BREAKUP..... You are probably asking yourself where did it all go wrong? Why me? You've probably heard the words you knew were coming but just didn't want to face up to, or maybe it's a total shock to you?

I was there only 2 months ago, yes I knew it was coming, yes I tried my hardest to make things right before he said those words that I had been dreading. Secretly I was relieved that my pain and suffering were over, what kind of relationship is it when you are scared to speak for the fear of being broken up with? Obviously I questioned this everyday that we were still together but despite this could not find the courage to end the relationship myself.


In this blog I plan to help you out in your journey of the break up and share some of my experiences along the way as I am still on my journey through the break up, I still have days when all I want to do is stay in bed and wallow in my self pitty, cry down the phone to friends.  I want to share with you the methods for making such a heart breaking experience that little bit easier.

So keep reading and I promise to keep this up to date and back date through the last 2 months to give you a little insight in to my break up and help you to see that you are not alone :)